A thought that was lingering on my mind since I shopped for cloths last week was fueled after I read a post on “Body Shaming”on Facebook while travelling to work today. That’s when I decided to share my story.
I am Vrushali, “successful both personally and professionally”, “happy”. Like everyone I have my own battles that I continue to fight. The most shameful of my battles was fighting against the social stigma against my body type (be it a fun way or otherwise).
“Aap ke size me nahi milega” - “Aap pe suite nahi karega” - “Don’t wear short tops - you look fat” - “Whats wrong - You have gained more weight than we met last time” - “Poor girl, she is looking so fat post baby”- Enough!!!!
I have always been a girl on the thicker side, that the average people might refer to as “chubby”or even “fat”. As a child it obviously demotivated me - time and again. Yes! I aspired to be one of the media marginalized woman of a very specific standard
Though very cutely, but I was tagged as “Moti”, “Jadu” by friends, cousins that subconsciously made place in my head - creating an inferior complex. It was easy to maintain a tomboy image and say “Yak! I don’t like to do girly things” to keep away from stuff like make up that did not suite or colorful cloths that did not fit.
I ate right, I was good at sports, I had made a mark with intelligent writing and theatre skills, I was a strong leader, a thoughtful story-teller and a every energetic kid - but often got picked on for my body shape and size. It was difficult to keep up the smile and stay motivated through early years. The depression was at the brink during adolescence when I was friend-zoned by almost every guy who probably did not see beyond the figure I carried. (I am married to the one who liked me as a person)
Body Shaming (be it on shape / size or color) has been deeply rooted in mindsets of people and has become a trend across social media. Women across the world are subjected to scrutiny and are susceptible to such outlandish criticism. Relatives, friends, strangers don’t fail to pass such regressive comments.
The body structure may be a result of so many factors ; genetic, illness, happiness or just a little extra love for food. Nobody is obliged to look a certain size/shape/colour just to please anyone’s eyes.
Blessed with good parents, I was taught that intelligence, good conduct, better health, being a better person was beautiful than being fair or thin. It took me time to learn to accept myself as I was and believe that AWESOMENESS CAN COME IN ANY PACKET SIZE.
I have seen the dreams shattering closely - I have faced rejections due to a healthier body. Not anymore - Stop creating stereotypes or silos and chalk more boundaries to divide people. Do not teach kids that thin and fair is beautiful. Learn look at the beauty beyond ones appearance and build a happy n free place for everyone.
Lets promote healthy living not skinny living. Lets embrace what we are....
By - Vrushali
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